Three Weeks to go !

Time has passed so quickly it's only three weeks till we go, so pleased Dan has agreed to go on the trip and in fact has bothered to turn up which was something that had been bothering me for quite some time. The preparations have been an absolute nightmare. Been refused Green card insurance, the landrover which was re-spayed by ourselves is bright blue (clever Gav Tetse flys will be so pleased!!). The Landy has broken down once (needed to replace an injector pipe). The semi local garages who were undertaking the work had a field day at the expense of my dwindling bank balance (more later). One flat tyre already. Leaking oil and worried sick.

On the question of Visas I have entrusted this somewhat lengthy process into the sweaty palms of Dan, with the said three weeks to go we have the grand total of one Visa, not entirely Dan's fault but…………

Despite numerous attempts at contacting the various embassies ‘the Lebonese are still busy……’. Obviously due to the sudden surge of tourism wishing to take part and be involved with the latest round of intafarda. This level of dedication to security can surely only be surpassed by the Syrians who took the unusual step of not even opening their visa office. However, the Jordanians, whilst being kind enough to be open and give us a visa within our lifetime, took the diplomatic ambience to another level by shifting all services to a basement flat which resembles a scene from the young ones.

On the ‘we really don’t want you in our country and we’re going to do our upmost to keep you out’ front we really must mention the Sudanese. Apart from the helpful phoneline, which is not one that appears to be solving the national debt of the country concerned by keeping you hanging on for dear life but one which is simply not answered. At this point I really think I must query the recruitment process within the diplomatic service field. Where do they find these people? Do they attend courses in ba$t@rd customer relations or is it a gift?

At this point I really must mention the hedgehog fiasco,…….no not quite what you think, but the amount of pricks that Dan has had to have in the last three weeks could fill a tory party conference. Personally I thought the Hepititus B and typhoid combination gave a particular high. Dan is acutely aware of this having had 17 combinations within the last week. His personal favourite for that ‘legal’ high is rabies and yellow fever which gave a glorious nights sleep and a huge erection in the morning (missing something Dan??).

So here it is, the 'legal' high list from the top.

1) Typhoid and Hep B combo2) Yellow fever (but a certificate to say you were brave) 3) Hep A (with a cold)4) Rabies5) Tetnus6) Polio (mmm nice taste)7) Meningoccal Meningitis (left till last as i cant spell it)

The carnet for landy came through today I was so happy I could have kissed the phone.

Expectations are high the betting is 10-1 Dover 2-1 North France with South Africa coming in at a hefty 20000-1 (incidentally that is the going rate for a ransom in Zimbabwe.).

Now time. This last six months has been pretty hard with sleepless night back breaking work and the odd night out worrying about this trip whilst Dan was enjoying the Japanese culture to the full. 230000 miles between worry and shangri la.

Carling I am sure will particularly miss my input this year, however CMG will bearly miss me on the ‘work’ front. The same can probably not be said of Dan's local sushi bar, travel agent, the local underage talent and his colleagues in work.

"Previous experience of these travel matters has lead us to believe that this expedition will be the finest ever………".Captain of the Titanic 1916. In reality its going to be fun……..

Food for this project has been kindly funded by CMG. Clothes supplied by my mum. Transport and hardware supplied by my ridiculously high pay. Planning brought to you by kind permission of Carling (darling).

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